My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
