Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize