I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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