yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
