My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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