So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
