Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
