I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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