I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize