Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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