I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
