I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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