There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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