We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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