I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
