Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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