yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
