Will you blow on my dice?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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