Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
