yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
