i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Holy shit dude........stairs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
