So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
