We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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