Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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