pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
