She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
