5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
BRING THE BAGELS
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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