my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize