Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
