jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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