Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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