My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
