I want to make a zoo with you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
