then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
