The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
