oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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