I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
