did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
