Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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