hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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