There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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