Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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