that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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