I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This girl is more easily done than said...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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