I want to walk on stilts...naked
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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