he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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