I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
