you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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