Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've blown a few things in my day
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
