if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this just has baby written all over it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
