Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
