i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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