I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
