This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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