You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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