i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
