he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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