dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
