she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
