You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
