I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
