Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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