This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
