Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
