We need to rekindle our bromance
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
