I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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