Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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