This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
a search helicopter?!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
