It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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