Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
