The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
