you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it's like iHOP with fire
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
