just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
false alarm. still invincible.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
