craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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