Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She announced her abortion via fbk
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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