We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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