I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
