considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
